Kenn (kenoubi) wrote,


Revision to last journal entry: I've found that at least I definitely care if I make it.

I have 22,014 words. This means that to finish, I need an average of 2333 or so words per day from this point on. This is brutal, but I'm comfortable at this point in saying that I can write 2000 words in an evening and do so consistently if I do my utmost to remove distractions and (this part is actually more important, I think) won't allow myself to fail. So, that leaves mornings as “catch-up” time. I definitely haven't been working close to full-time lately, generally getting in at around 11, but frankly, I'm okay with the reduced pay if I can make this work.

Weekends are a bit of a wildcard—in theory, I should be able to do a lot more on them, but in practice I've found the belief that I “should” be able to do this or that to have little or no effect on my actually doing it. In fact, I think my average word count per day on weekends may actually be less than my average word count per weekday over the last week or so. Also, if I reach 25k words by noon Saturday, I'm going to reward myself by going shooting; I haven't been for the past couple of weeks, whereas previously I had been pretty careful to go once a week, and it's starting to feel very much like there's something missing.

This evening I planned to start writing almost three hours before I actually did. The first hour and a half was pure procrastination, but the second hour and a half was re-reading what I'd wrote. Ug, why didn't I do this earlier? I was completely convinced that what I'd written so far was utter garbage, and in particular that the first four chapters were nearly unreadable; but as it turns out, I was mistaken. They're actually not half bad. This is important because, if I were really writing crap, I could probably be doing it a lot faster than I have been, but on the other hand I would lose all motivation. I'm not aiming to overtake Breakout—as I told Charlie, if I can make the word count and have a story that doesn't make me feel like throwing the book across the room, I'll consider myself to have succeeded.

This is the point at which I'd normally throw an “I'm going to make it” or some such, but that would require me to be a bit ballsier than I feel right now. It does, however, happen to be the case. ;-)


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